Fear takes hold of me as I feel her standing behind me and slowly stepping towards me as a tactful predator. A chill runs through my spine, making me shiver, and I don't have the courage to turn around and see her. The weather seems to be resonating with my thoughts; dark clouds filling every inch of the infinite sky. I know this time she's not alone. She is here with a plan to end my story there and then with a weapon; a knife. Would she just stab me in the back without even confronting me? Or this time, we will get to discuss our fears.
O ma, why would you want me dead? Gathering my thoughts, I start running away from her, thinking I would reach a safe place. Yet I seem to reach the same place again and again.
I always sensed something hidden in the layers of our relationship. We could never talk about it. But I always felt the chill of something inevitable.
I realise you had to sacrifice your own daughter to accept me. But do I deserve this coldness from you? I don't even know what happened then. Oh why did I come out here, leaving the advances of my love, his caressing touch. It seems I am running but to no avail. You spot me again and my lifeless body is about to crumble. I can see all the blood oozing out of my body at the mere sight of you. I try a vain escape.
You catch hold of me. I close my eyes and wish a quick death. I wish that that knife slits me open in no time. But no! Instead of piercing the knife inside out, you grab me by my hair and take me to a chamber. A dead cold one it is. I can breathe here but oh so suffocating this is.
My body remains still. It can't be moved. I am lying in that ball. Eyes open, brain working but no movement permitted. You come near. My breathes fall short, palpitation rises. In that small chamber, I could sense my body closely and deeply. This time I dare look up and my eyes meet your gaze and SEE you.
I see your face. You look like me. Oh no! I see myself grinning over my face which looks bloodless now. Hell, what's going on. It's me standing right in front of myself. I see the images helping me making sense of everything that's happened. You are no one else but me.
A voice is heard which says,
Bind it! Enchain it! Let it suffocate so much so it itself will go restless to break all the barriers freeing it itself. And then it will never be enchained by anything. But all that will be left is a free soul.
I feel peace. But several questions appear on the walls. I can't have my eyes close any more.
I wake up.